Good....bye?

Want me to tell you a little story?

See there was this girl who didn't like/trust this guys friend. Obviously something was going on when every time something between them erupts into an argument he talks to the friend. It wasn't at all like her talking to her friends because the guys' friend was a girl. Because that makes all the difference in the world.

I didn't mean for us to say goodbye like this or to say goodbye at all. I'm trying my hardest to make this work between her and I. It was a choice, a difficult one, but a choice nonetheless. Her or you. Obviously with kids in the picture the choice didn't seem so hard, on paper. Reality does bite and it bites hard. Like when there's no one else to talk to, when there's spare time usually spent rambling on about the last time we hung out but instead just staring at a blank wall. Times like that I wish I had my best friend back..

I promised myself that I'd send you something, that I would talk to you about it, try to make you understand but it's just too hard. How can I say goodbye when I can't bear the thought of losing you my best and only friend? You were the one who helped me get back on the right path when all I could see was the end. The dark and creepy blackness. Remember that letter I wrote for you when it was our last goodbye? When you read it you cried? I'm kind of hoping for the same reaction here. Only instead of crying, laughter. I want you to remember the good times. I seriously am sorry for the lack of trying to tell you about all this earlier. I wish I could. Maybe it would've been easier.

Maybe not..