I wish sometimes I had all the answers. Or at least mind reading powers. It's like she doesn't care enough to talk to me about anything. Does she want us to talk? I wouldn't know because she just walks away. I try to talk to her about problems but it's like she doesn't want to hear it. I really am trying here but everytime I try to talk to her she either says that I'm not listening or she starts to walk away and lies in the bed and tells me shes going to sleep because she's tired. V_V' What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to relate to anything or even have the faintest idea about how our relationship is going when it's all one sided? I feel like I'm at the end of my ropes here and I'm just grasping thin air.
What's worse is that I get pushed into taking care of the kids more and more and it's starting to get frustrating because I already feel inadequate when it comes to parenting. I feel like I'm doing a bad job of things and that I'm really self doubting myself at the moment so that doesn't help at all. I feel so pressured right now to find work... to be all happy and feel proud of the kids (which I am)... to study... to make sure the house is clean ... look after the kids... make sure everything is alright with everyone. I just.. I don't think I'm gonna last long if this keeps up. I feel my sanity slipping away.. I'm so depressed and feel alone right now and I suppose part of me feels like its normal.. but a part of it just feels it's wrong.
I just want to scream but I can't. *sigh....
depressed,
C
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